It took me Lærdansk, a friend
and a Danish philosopher (Anne Marie Pahuus) to realise how much love
enters in the equation that made us end up here in Denmark.
First Lærdansk.
Almost every foreigner
ends up in Lærdansk in order to, well, learn Danish. One day, my
fellow student Christine and I let our thoughts wander about various
subjects, such as Danish integration policy, and why we are here - in
Denmark, that is.
We concluded that we,
and each and every one of our class mates, were here for love. Either
because we fell in love with a Danish citizen, or with a partner we
decided to follow, because this person's work required her or him to
come here. Imagine that: a classroom full of love!
Then the philosopher,
Anne Marie Pahuus.
She published a book on love in the 'Tænkepause' series of Aarhus University Press, and
recently presented her work for an audience of expat partners in
University International Club at Aarhus University (all this while
holding her youngest daughter on her hip). She took us on a whirlwind
tour of philosophy and literature, touching upon the works of
philosophers like Plato and Kierkegaard and authors such as Milan
Kundera.
In other words, it got
really philosophical and up-in-the-air, and as she was talking, all
of a sudden I fell to earth so to speak, and the conversation I had
with Christine came to mind. Again I found myself sitting in a room
full of love – expat partners who have ventured out with their
loved ones, out into the unknown, and they were all gathered here, in
a sterile-looking seminar room in Aarhus.
It struck me that love
was represented as a sort of end product, but can that be true? As
far as I am concerned, no. Something changes in the relationship when
a couple moves to another country, something having to do with
balance. Usually, the move is for the direct benefit of one of the
partners, while the other one's benefits are not always that
straightforward to describe. That does things with you – and with
your loved one.
Also, the new
circumstances make that the two of you develop yourselves. Sometimes
in unforeseeable ways. That can be scary – let's be honest about
that (I can be, eh, LOUD). But it can also be exhilarating, resulting in a giddy feeling
of success, and a strengthening of the bond between you and your
loved one.
So the choice for being
an expat comes from love, and the choice itself influences the love
that made it happen. That's scary, too...
Wait. Could it be that
philosophy is contagious and I just wrote down something
philosopical?!
I'll stop immediately
and do something down-to-earth, like running away to buy my
sweetheart some chocolate and roses. It's Valentine's Day anyway.
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